Ask The Principal

Sunday, July 30, 2006

"Bullying and Your Child"

I know I said I was going to wrap up the bullying thing. I didn't lie, but I did change my mind. I am also going to put an individual link to the posts relating to this topic at the bottom of this post, per the request of Jefferson Reed of RightFaith

With the "socialization" argument unwilling to die it's deservedly miserable death I suppose I feel compelled to keep driving a wooden stake in its blood sucking/life ruining heart.

I read this article this morning from Yahoo Health: Children's Health News. It repeats a lot of what I have already been saying in this series. Check out these stats though:

Sadly, bullying is widespread. According to a 2004 KidsHealth KidsPoll, 86% of more than 1,200 9- to 13-year-old boys and girls polled said they've seen someone else being bullied, 48% said they've been bullied, and 42% admitted to bullying other kids at least once in a while.

We as parents cannot be so naive to think that within these statistics are our own publicly educated children, if in fact we still have our children in public schools. We cannot actually think that our Christian kids who are being "salt and light" within this age group fit neatly into the 14% not affected in the least by bullying. Remember what Paul said to the Corinthians? (15:33)


Do not be deceived:
"Bad company corrupts good morals."

I'm not nearly the theologian I desire to be so I am reticent to start making exegesis of scripture to make a point unless I am fairly certain I'm not leading someone down a path of an incorrect understanding of God's word. This verse is as plain as it gets. Kind of a no-brainer, if you will.

I do have expertise on the public school institution, culture, and nuances. By relating these things that are not readily observed to the readers of this blog I hope to stimulate some careful thought as to what is best for their children. Presenting these anecdotes and observations will provide data that is often hidden for the sake of perpetuating the existing public school model.

Following is a list of convenient links to the posts on the series of school safety and bullying:

What about public school safety?

Let's talk about bullies...

A typical scenario

The parent /advocate of the bully

One way the bully says everything without saying anything

Again, I am happy to answer questions or make clarifications. It is not my intent to sound as if I am wanting to condemn someone who puts a child into the public education system, but rather to endorse (albeit strongly) an alternative, namely, the nurture and admonition that comes in a homeschool environment.

Along with this endorsement perhaps I can give an insiders look to help a family make an educated decision as to what is best for the whole family and the whole education of their children.

9 Comments:

  • By the way, we're still waiting for #5, currently 9 days overdue. Prayers for my loving patient wife are appreciated :-)

    Bill

    By Blogger The Principal, at Sunday, July 30, 2006 3:12:00 PM  

  • keep the faith

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thursday, August 03, 2006 9:36:00 PM  

  • I followed a link from Internet Monk to here. I'm interested in any thoughts you have about bullying among homeschoolers.

    It's been my perception that negative behavior is getting more common in hs'ing groups around here, as more schools figure out that homeschooling can be a dumping ground for the problem kids ("Have you considered homeschooling? It really helps with their behavior and grades!") and reduces the dropout rates on paper. This was brought out briefly in the national news when the "Texas Miracle" turned out to be a matter of reclassifying dropouts, but homeschoolers here in Austin have seen it happening for the past ten years.

    My own daughter was badly bullied in a drama class by a hs'ed girl (three years older) who had just been pulled out of middle school. I found out later (after two months of wondering why my daughter was turning mean, sullen, and incapable of doing her lesson work) that most of the class knew about the bullying, many of the parents had known about it but said nothing to me, and that the instructor had seen it but decided that "Kids need to work these things out themselves." The bullying was physical as well as verbal, and her money and possessions had been stolen regularly.

    When I confronted the instructor and the director of the program, they said they never expect problems from homeschooled kids so hadn't been prepared to deal with the situation. The fact that my daughter was much younger than the bully hadn't seemed to impact their thinking. Their initial solution was to have all the kids discuss the problem together: I told them that if the older girl wasn't out of the class immediately, I was going to phone the police and report the assaults and thefts. The girl was expelled from the class that day.

    I still sit up at night hating myself for not having figured it out sooner. I always thought she would come to me if she was having this kind of problem; when we talked about it, she said that she had been convinced (by the older girl) that she was at fault and so hadn't said anything for fear I would be angry with her.

    Sorry to go on about this. It just makes me so angry, even now. And I still have to put up with idiots telling me that, without public school, I can't expect my children to learn how to "deal with bullies." Well for pity's sake, I dealt with the bully by threatening to call the cops; I hope when my children are adults, they'll also resort to law enforcement when confronted with battery and theft.

    By Blogger The Opinionated Homeschooler, at Monday, August 21, 2006 1:08:00 PM  

  • Dear Opinionated,

    Bullying happens everywhere, even in Sunday school (which, by the way, is modeled after the public school system and developed around the same time in the early 1800's) In prior posts an anonymous commenter wants to remedy his experience being bullied by becoming one himself, a super-bully if you will that is impervious to all who threaten. That isn't the answer, only a typical symptom of victims in this bullying problem.

    I am sorry for your daughter's experience, but you handled it correctly. A bully will continue his/her antics unless stopped flat by a valid authority.

    Children left to their own devices to figure out how to deal with bullies have been known to bring guns to school and kill people. No, we are to protect our children, not throw them into painful/harmful situations and expect the callouses and attitudes they develop to be a normal experience.

    Bill

    PS, sorry for being so long in responding. The start of the year is a busy time.

    By Blogger The Principal, at Sunday, September 03, 2006 11:12:00 PM  

  • Bullying does happen among homeschoolers. My wife homeschools our 3 kids and my middle son has been the victim of bullying, by another homeschooled kid. The first time it happened, we didn't want to believe it. You just have to keep an eye on the kids, because bullies come to all areas of life. I could go on in greater detail, but it still is somewhat upsetting.

    By Blogger jimmmaaa, at Tuesday, September 26, 2006 4:24:00 PM  

  • You're right jimmmaaa. Homeschooled kids that are put into a social situation that mimmicks what happens daily in the public school will start behaving like publically educated kids in that setting. We are sinners raising little sinners who will sin even more if given the opportunity and lack of accountability.

    By Blogger The Principal, at Wednesday, September 27, 2006 7:13:00 PM  

  • If you want to make sure your kid doesn't get bullied, make sure they don't see any other kids. Ever. This will also make sure they don't get exposed to any ideas or values that you don't subscribe to.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thursday, November 19, 2009 2:11:00 PM  

  • For home educators, students and researchers: I have put one of the most comprehensive link lists for hundreds of thousands of statistical sources and indicators (economics, demographics, health etc.) on my blog: Statistics Reference List. And what I find most fascinating is how data can be visualised nowadays with the graphical computing power of modern PCs, as in many of the dozens of examples in these Data Visualisation References. If you miss anything that I might be able to find for you or if you yourself want to share a resource, please leave a comment.

    By Anonymous CrisisMaven, at Sunday, March 07, 2010 1:17:00 PM  

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