A typical scenario

A victim of a bully generally puts up with a lot before he/she either seeks help or blows up. The "narc" syndrome, or in Columbine terms, the "conspiracy of silence" is really a formidable opponent to the safe school environment. The bully often will spend days, weeks, months giving small, subtle, sneaky little harassments. Each little incident on its own is hardly worth reporting, but they build up and build up. Sometimes a victim "loses it" and goes off on the bully. Since no harassment was ever reported the bully appears to be the "victim".

After several hours of investigation and questioning of students (many, if not most, intentionally lie because of this "narc syndrome") most of what has been happening emerges. The kid who "blew up" is at an emotional peak, may have really hurt the bully, or may have given the bully the "open door" to pummel the victim. Both get suspended from school and the original victim gets a double whammy, while the bully gets a vacation.

There are interventions and strategies to deal with these situations, but the point is not that there are terrific interventions, the point is that the hostile condition exists in the first place. Again, even the safest schools are only "safe" in relative terms. This relativity is not based on the safety afforded to our children in our homeschool homes, but rather in comparison to some ambiguous idea of an urban school with metal detectors and drug deals on the playgrounds.

Of course there is little challenge to most schools to provide a safer environment than say some inner city schools, but that "safe" isn't even close to the "safe" I want for my children